Mum always hated black clothes, she said they suck the life out of people. She was the most colourful person I know inside and out. She loved a good giggle and laughed until she cried.
My girls grew up on a story called The Rainbow Fish. A story about a super flashy little fish that gave all her sparkly scales away to the other dull fish so they could all have a little sparkle. That was Mum, always giving some sparkle to someone.
Mum, Covid restrictions have meant so many are missing but I know they are here, with us in spirit, to celebrate your life from all over the world.
In Ireland you leave behind your doting husband, Stuart and your little dog Yushi. In England, Sandy and I and our precious girls, your incredible grand daughters, Sabine and Aila-Fae. We are all really struggling without you.
Your siblings are too, you were so close to them all; in Africa your sisters Eunice, Pat, Maureen and Penny, & her husband Bjern and brothers Victor and his wife Dawn and in Canada, Desmond and his wife Leslie and all their extended families. Also in Canada your cousin Val and husband Trevor. On Dad's side, Chris and Jean, Isobel and Mike, Irene and Claire. Everyone is still reeling, completely shocked and devastated by your sudden departure.
Everyone is still reeling, completely shocked and devastated by your sudden departure. We are all walking this walk we were not prepared for. You were always there guiding and supporting everyone and now we have to do the same for each other.
Dad and I have always known how special, unique and precious you were but we have been overwhelmed by the love from people wanting us to know how important you were to them. Family and friends often saying the same thing; you often played a seminal role in both big and small life decisions. You were the Agony Aunt to so many; always doing something for someone.
This is really evident in your Blainroe community. I want you to know Dad will be in safe hands when I'm in England because you embraced Ireland and all it has to offer and now it's people are embracing you; showing Dad so much love and kindness in return for all you gave over the years. An active member on The Board Of Directors at Balinroe Cottages while working a full time job - you loved to keep very busy!
Speaking of work, you were so loyal you only ever worked at two places, Stuart Saville in South Africa and Hussey Frazer Solicitors in Dublin. You absolutely loved your job and were so brilliant at it they didn't want you to leave. Anne, your boss for 20 years became such close friend I know, she like me is feeling lost without you.
I wander if you had any idea just how many lives you touched, how many you helped, guided and supported; I wander if you knew that that was your gift, that like everything you shared so readily. Generous beyond your means. Always giving; advice, money, clothes, time, gifts, food but most of all, love. Aways giving without thinking about yourself, the true Rainbow Fish, parting with colour and sparkle at every turn.
We will carry you with us everywhere Mum because you are everywhere we look. You treasured the small things and looked after the big, the loves of your life.
Your marriage has been the guiding beacon for Sandy and I; what you and Dad had and gave each other was what all couples aspire to. You celebrated your golden anniversary last year and they truly were 50 incredible years. It was no surprise to me that your last words uttered were, "I love you" to Dad. He will hold onto that until he meets you in the next life which I know you are already preparing, organising and sorting as we speak.
I promise, Dad, Sandy, the girls and I will hold each other up. We will remember you every minute of every day. You have given us those eyes, we see your beauty everywhere.
I'm so thankful that I grew up under your colourful sparkle and that you will live through Sabine, Aila-Fae and I. We will carry and spread your love for life forward, one sparkly scale at a time for all the other fish to enjoy.
I love you my Mum, my best friend, my everything. Thank you for sharing your gifts so readily. We'll take over from here, your job here is done, rest in peace, light and of course colour.
Xxx
OUR DEAR JOAN 18 FEB. 2021
Weak words; miserable exhausted words
Patch over the gaping hole, the earthquake,
The waves of grief that batter this abyss,
And cry with deafening longing for Joan.
My dear sister, whose kind face, whose ever smile
Cast gentle, sturdy anchors of love for all
Across our far flung shores, over the divide.
Whose biggest, tenderest heart and embrace
Knew not limits and bounds of giving and warmth
To strangers, to friends, and we few who remain.
Your vibrant resolve, and steady hand lifted us
With unfaltering, unflinching kindness.
Joan, who steadied me in a floundering youth,
Who was always present with hope and help
To set so many on their different roads
With strength and calm, you got things done.
Now our paths here can no longer meet,
Our anchors are aweigh, these cruel winds sweep us,
And I am adrift, broken and beaten.
If only I could walk beside you again,
One final time, to hold you hand, to feel
Your hugs and reminisce fondly of old times,
To hear you, and listen to your wisdom,
I would cry to you of my deep gratitude.
If life was fair and decent, and tears would work,
Then wash away this misty misery,
The thick, clogged sadness that hangs with your loss.
May peace and love be by your side over there,
My dear, dear sister. May you abiding love
Lead forever to lap all our distant shores
And calm my crumbled heart, and soften
Our bitter tears with your sweet memory.
We love you
Butch
